What if I am actually afraid of labour?

“I don’t want to use any epidural. Just the laughing gas and if need be, some anaesthetic at the thigh.” I wrote something this down in my birth plan which I went through with Dr Ben a few weeks ago.

“You sure?” He asked. 

Yesterday when Dr Ben tested for the presence of amiontic fluid below, he had to insert a testing stick and it felt pain and uncomfortable. I was already screaming slightly when that happened. 

“Are you sure no epidural for you? Just laughing gas? I think you’d be crying, not laughing through labour.” He said. 

“The midwives will come in to check you every 3-4 hours and stretch you below and the pain will be worse than this.” He added. 

Before I left, he left me these parting words, “Consider epidural.” He laughed. 

Sigh. I feel so caught in the middle. I don’t want epidural because I am so afraid of injections and needles and they make me feel uncomfortable and squirmy. But the continuous pain and discomfort from the labour might actually be prolonged. 

I am in such a dilemma. What if I have just been feeling overly confident about the labour? Now all of a sudden when reality sinks in, I am actually nervous and scared about labour. 

Baby Jayden, you got to help ease mummy’s pain and discomfort during labour. Let’s push hard together when the time comes and let’s make this labour a fast and furious one! We can do this together!